Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

I knew Father's Day was coming. I knew when I went to bed last night that when I woke up, it would be Father's Day. Maybe that's why I didn't go to bed until after 2 am. And sure enough, at 6:30 this morning, it was indeed Father's Day.

Today will mark another "first" in this new journey we are on ~our first time to not have either of our Franks. My heart and prayers went out for Neely and Scott and then Frances, Chandler, Zach and Chase. And then the list went on....

As I prayed through these feelings of loss, I reminded myself that happiness is a choice. I know I've preached that motto to my kids many times. Whoever coined it, must be proud of himself. I can either focus on what we've lost (which is an involuntary action I can assure you) or focus on what we have.

I am so blessed to have my Daddy. Happy Father's Day to a man a respect and love very much.
We are also blessed to have godly men in our lives that love us and continue to be an influence to the kids. I am so grateful for them as I named them one by one this morning in thanksgiving.

Right next to this computer - Frank's computer - is a Beannie Baby the kids gave their daddy in 2001. The kids would have been 9, 7, and 5 at the time. It's little tag (that tag is important, you know!) reads: "My dad has such a great big heart, He's kind and funny and really smart, He always finds the time to play, I want to be like him someday." "POPS" has sat in Frank's office all these years and is now in our kitchen, in what we had turned into Frank's nook so he could work downstairs. As I stare at this navy plush reminder of.... well.... what was.... I still must choose to be thankful.

We also have wonderful memories to cherish. The legacy both Frank's left on their children is a good one. We speak of them often - sometimes with laughter, sometimes with tears, but always with a smile. And as intense as these feelings of loss are right now, I have to remind myself often that although life will never be the same, the intensity will get better with time. At least that's what the books say..... and I'm counting on that!

It's been 7 weeks, 4 days. Summer is in full swing. Chase left yesterday for Colorado with the youth at church. Zach will go to Padre Island and Chandler and I have a mother/daughter trip to the lake I'm really looking forward to. And of course we're staying busy at home as well.

Thank you for your sweet cards and encouraging comments to Chandler's post. They've meant so much to her - and all of us.

Yep, it's Father's Day. And we are ~ still ~ blessed.



"I will love You, oh Lord, my strength." Psalm 18:1

"But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and Your salvation all the day.... Psalm 71: 14-15

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

from Chandler....

The past week has been the hardest so far. Dad is gone.. and I can't change that.

So far, I consider myself to have been in a state of shock. I mean, I guess that’s only natural. Someone dies and it makes sense not to miss them as much when it’s the same amount of time as a vacation. But then, you pass that mark… the point where it really hits you - you have car trouble and don’t know what to do or you sit at home alone and realize that they would normally have been there to keep you company.

Whatever the case, it comes on strong, and there is no way to get around it. So many times I have come home dying to tell dad about what just happened to me. I’ve been swimming laps lately, and the other night I swam 22 laps- the most I’ve ever done. Without even thinking I rushed home and walked in the door... about to open my mouth, when I realized - he wasn’t there. He wasn’t going to be there. And that is my harsh reality.

It’s a weird feeling to see the world around you move on and know that you’re moving about 10 paces slower. It’s hard to describe. Some days I feel on top of the world and others I don’t even want to open my eyes. There’s this since of loneliness that is always there. This empty place in your mind… dad used to be here for me to give some of my love, my time, and my wants and needs. And now that I have lost him…. It’s the same feeling you would get if someone pulled the chair out from underneath you. You’re depending on the chair to help hold you up, and all of a sudden you’re on the ground.

I will get through this though.. and I know that there is hope in every affliction. I have seen that first hand. And I am determined to make it through. This won’t last forever. I get through the day knowing and depending solely on my Savior for my every step. He has drawn me close in every way. Each day is like a new and exciting adventure with my best friend and Lord.

I thank Him everyday for this experience.

Through all of this I have continued to learn more and more everyday. This life is like a series of storms. And while everything around me is going crazy, God is always there. He is my Rain. No matter where I go, I will always be drenched in His love and peace. I have realized that without turning to Him first, I get nowhere. Because the more I try to fix things, or pretend like I’m always alright and that nothing has changed... the more trapped I am in everything I try to run away from.

So I’ve decided to stand in this storm and praise God that I am in it! Because without this storm, I would never have felt the Rain.

“The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father’s God, and I will exalt Him.” Exodus 15:2

Monday, May 18, 2009

I have missed this.

Every day, the natural thought process goes through my mind.... "I need to update the website." That's been a constant for over 6 years. It's a habit. Now, it's one of the things that makes my eyes get wet. "What about the website...."

But I've missed this. I've missed my connection with you. So, hear I am. Here we are.

19 days. We miss him. I'm getting questions like "How am you doing?" "What are you doing?"

I've been trying to work on thank you notes. A little a night keeps me busy. We've worked in the yard. Frank had already purchased some plants he wanted for this summer, so I planted those a few days ago.

Last Thursday was a full day, and one of the hardest so far. I went to his office. Took care of business, and cleaned out the rest of his personal things from his desk. By the time I got home, the call came that the death certificate was in. So, Chase and I went to get them. We went to the cemetery. The flowers were gone and the sod laid. We had a sweet time together. We came home just in time for our first official meal at the table - set for 4. And right after dinner, one of the boys (I can't say who or I'll get in trouble) broke their window with a ball. A first for our family believe it our not! I had no idea what to do. And then.. the dreaded bedtime.

Psalm 6:6 "My groaning has worn me out. At night my bed and pillow are soaked with tears."

I don't think I'll have another day like that for a while. It's sad. But the truth is.... that just the way it is right now. And I know it's normal. I told the kids I feel like I'm quoting a Dr. Sues book when we talk about grief: We can't go under it, can't go over it, can't go around it. We have to go through it.

We're handling the grief like we handled the fight. Head on. We cry when we feel like crying, and we laugh when we feel like laughing. We talk about Frank whenever we want to. And we're doing normal things and getting out a little, too. We're respecting each others right to grieve differently. I am very very proud of the how the kids are handling themselves so far. They have been so sweet to me, and to each other. A mommy couldn't ask for more.

A thought came to my mind the other day. Beautiful Feats Ministries. It was listed in the paper, it was mentioned at the service. But Frank hadn't mentioned it here. And for those who don't live in Memphis, you may not know what it is.

Frank had a dream several years back to start a ministry to be the "hands and feet" of Christ by supporting the needs of families affected by devastating circumstances beyond their control.

This was something Frank worked very hard to accomplish. And with the help of his Board of Directors, he was able to see this dream become a reality. He wanted the website to be fully working before he put it here for you to see. Frank's last board meeting was on April 26th.

I am very proud to be able to link you here to Beautiful Feats Ministries!

http://beautifulfeats.com/

Even though we are walking in a "fog" of grief right now (that's what my book calls it), there are many tender moments we have during the day. The pain of loss is bitter sweet, because with each remembrance of him, we are reminded of how much we love him ~ how much he loved us!

He is everywhere in this house, and in every thing I do! And yet I know that's a blessing. We shared much, and much is lost. We are so blessed! My belief in that has not been shaken. Thank you Jesus!

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The cards and notes we are getting are so comforting. It's a joy to read how Frank touched your life as well. Thank you! And thank you for your continued prayers for our family. Not just the kids and I, but for his family and mine.

Still in His grace, Peggy

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

It's one week since our Frank went to be with the Lord. Even though we thought were as prepared as anyone could be, it doesn't ease the pain of missing him. It just hurts.

BUT GOD..... He is our comfort, and source of strength and peace. The body of Christ has been such such a blessing to our family, uplifting us through this time.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep". Romans 12:15
The outpouring of love was amazing!!! It gave me such comfort for the weekend. It will forever impact the children as well, as they saw the line at visitation and the church full for his service. The kids knew their Daddy as... well... Daddy. Seeing how many people came to pay respect to him as they knew him through business, church, bible study, college, elementary school, etc broadened their perspective how many lives he has touched.


As we reflect on the weekend, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

We do have a favor to ask.....

We have been told by so many people, that the guest book was too hard to get to in the lobby on Sunday, and as a result, we are missing hundreds of names of people that came to the service.
Because we not able to see everyone it would mean so much to us to know who was there.

If you were there and couldn't get to the book, please let us know, either by telling us here, or emailing me (so I can have your address), and we'll record it for you. It would make me sad to miss sending an acknowledgement. I have heard, only from others, of people that came. It touched our hearts, and we would have never known. Thank you so much for helping us with important detail.

Frank's posts were always so great! I used to linger as long as I could before posting after him. I hated "pushing" his down the page of the website. Remember the one about his taking a bath? (Oct 2008) It was powerful.
I feel the same way today, knowing this post would take his picture off the front screen....
so I'm keeping it! I could just stare at it all day.

The "family bed" has been so good for us. I haven't slept alone yet. Your prayers are needed, and so very appreciated for our family during this time. Thank you!!
Peggy, Chandler, Zach, and Chase

Friday, May 1, 2009

Our beloved husband and father.....

FRANK ANDERSON CARLTON, III, 44, of Germantown, TN, went to be with his Lord and Savior on April 29, 2009 at his home, after a courageous battle with Multiple Myeloma. A celebration of his life will begin with visitation on Saturday, May 2, from 3-5 p.m., with a service Sunday, May 3, 2009, at 2 p.m. Both will be held in the South Hall at Hope Presbyterian Church, 8500 Walnut Grove in Cordova.

Frank was born in Greenville, MS on September 11, 1964. His childhood hobbies included swimming, hunting, and gardening. He was also involved in Boy Scouts of America, where he earned the highest rank of Eagle Scout.

Frank graduated from Greenville High School in 1982 where he was twice voted Class Favorite. He furthered his education at Mississippi Delta Community College, and then Mississippi State University, graduating in 1987, with a Bachelor of Science in Agriculture. During his years at Miss. State, he enjoyed fraternity life, serving as president of Phi Kappa Tau. Frank also worked at the Bulldog Deli, where he met his future wife, Peggy Brody, whom he married in November 1989.

That same year, Frank began working at Elliott Data Systems. He found his niche in sales and earned many awards for outstanding achievement. His 20 year association with Elliott brought Frank great joy, and he considered it an honor to work alongside colleagues, whom he also called friends.

Frank’s love for the Lord was evident in every area of his life, always eager to share the Good News. Frank worshiped at Hope Presbyterian Church where he has served as a deacon, taught in children’s ministry, and was active in his small group. Frank was a member of Bible Study Fellowship for 13 years, where he also served several years in leadership.

Frank loved people, and had a unique gift for making each person he met smile. His positive attitude was an inspiration to all who knew him. After being diagnosed with cancer in 2002, Frank’s passion became sharing God’s faithfulness. It is from this passion that he founded Beautiful Feats Ministries which seeks out unique ways of bringing Glory to God. He also enjoyed cooking, gardening, and spending time with his precious family.

Frank is preceded in death by his father, Frank Anderson Carlton, Jr. He is survived by his wife, Peggy and their three children, Chandler, Zachary, and Chase, mother, Frances Carlton of Greenville; brother, Scott Carlton (Virginia) of Jackson, MS and their children; Rachel, Read, and Phoebe, sister, Neely Carlton (Dave Maatallah) of Jackson, MS and their children; Marissa, Adam and Joshua; father and mother-in-law, Bill and Sandy Brody of Germantown, TN; sister-in-law, Lisa Amann (Jim) and their children; Julie, Lauren, Jimmy and Alexis of Eads, TN; and many other loved ones.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be given to Beautiful Feats Ministry, 5100 Wheelis Drive, Suite 215, Memphis, TN 38117, 901.867.8635; Hope Presbyterian Church, 8500 Walnut Grove, Memphis, TN 38018, 901.755.7721; or the Myeloma Institute for Research and Therapy, UAMS, 4301 West Markham St, Mail #816, Little Rock, AR, 72205

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The outpouring of love for our family has been overwhelming. The support and prayer for us means so much. Thank you. Thank you.

Visitation: 3-5 pm, Saturday, May 2
Celebration service: 2 pm, Sunday, May 3

Both will be held in the South Hall, Hope Presbyterian Chuch, 8500 Walnut Grove, Cordova, TN, 38018.

Memorial Park Funeral home has charge, 901.767.8930

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hebrew 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Precious loved ones and friends, Frank has completed the run set before him. And he finished the race with honor, courage and dignity.

Frank went to be with the Lord early this morning. He passed away in my arms as I held him close and with our children with him. Our hearts are broken. Yet we know that he is in no more pain, and rejoicing with his Saviour, his Comforter, his Healer, and his friend.

Yesterday was the best day Frank has had in a while. We played hookie from radiation, and the new pain meds did indeed give him relief yesterday. He enjoyed the nice day on the porch for several hours. He told us funny stories, and watched a movie last night he'd been wanting to see for a week.

We will post more information about the service when it is planned.

As I know you will - our precious prayer warriors - keep our whole family in your prayers.

Thank you for walking this road with us. Frank and I thanked God for you so often.

In His grace, Peggy

Monday, April 27, 2009

Well, it's 1:40 in the morning and I was determined to update before I went to bed! I hope your Sunday was relaxing. After a week of absolutely gorgeous weather, we are expecting rain all week. Life's been sort of like that around here! Sunny one minute, raining the next. But the SON is always out ~ rain or shine!!

Frank didn't need any blood or platelets Friday. Yeah! That gave us more time to spend at the Radiologist. Dr. Lee talked with Dr. Weir, and they decided to order an MRI of his head to try and pinpoint the source of mouth numbness and tongue deviation. The MRI showed a lesion on the side of his face, in front of the ear, that effects 3 facial nerves. But they couldn't find a lesion around the 12th facial nerve. That is nerve causing the tongue to deviate to the right and give Frank trouble talking. They started radiation to the other rib (that they didn't do last time) and the side of his face on Thursday.

Dr. Weir wants Frank to see a new doctor about the other issue, so we have an appointment tomorrow afternoon. The main concern is that the myeloma may be in the spinal fluid now, with that being the cause of the 12th nerve irritation. We'll know after tomorrow's visit. Please pray for wisdom for the doctor and a clear plan of action that is best for Frank.

Frank's pain has intensified again. Today's been a rough day. He was, however, really glad he got to spend time with Scott on Saturday. They had a plan to "rate" famous BBQ from Memphis. They got ribs from 4 stores and the men all tried out the goods for the competition. I'll try and encourage Frank to post soon and share the results!

Tomorrow will be long. Labs at Bapt outpatient, radiation after that, and then our appointment with the new doctor. Days like this are hard on Frank with so much moving around. We are praying in advance for a manageable day with good pain control.

My daddy is in the hospital again. He's getting his gallbladder out tomorrow. It was too pretty of a day to be cooped up in the hospital, esp because it was my Mom's birthday too ~ Happy Birthday Mom! Daddy's heart is back in atrial fibrillation, so please pray for him as well, that his surgery will be successful and he'll have a fast recovery.

Our sermon was on worry. Hummm... I don't know why all those other people were there.... that sermon was just for me! Oh, I am so thankful for His timely words to us.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 (Msg)

It's a daily surrender to trust God with every detail of what we are going through. Give us the strength Lord, and increase our faith all the more!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Jim! We love you and hope you have a great day!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and notes to us after the last post. The intensity of Frank's pain has gotten better since we posted last Wednesday. Thank you, Lord!

After meeting with Dr. Weir, the meds changed and a radiation plan was set into motion. Thursday he got a unit of platelets (they were 4) and then we saw Dr. Lee for radiation. He started that afternoon with the first of 5 treatments. The last one is today.

We are so thankful he's getting some relief, but the real proof for us is when he feels like being more active. We don't get out much, so we were most encouraged when a trip to Gus's Fried Chicken sounded like a good idea to Frank for Friday night. Frank LOVES Gus's. Zach and I rolled him right up to a table and and we all enjoyed a deep fried southern cooked meal ~ and even left with a souvenir t-shirt! We even saw a movie Sunday night too!

Monday, his blood counts were low again. His Hct was 25, and Platelets 4, so spent all day at Baptist getting 3 blood transfusions. I pushed him across the street for radiation while we waited on his lab results and had a great time strolling outside. The weather was so nice! We talked trees and flowers and made plans for our yard. The day was productive and fun! The nurses there are so caring and accommodating. They take great care of Frank and our time there never seems burdensome.

Today is Wednesday ~ doctor day. After his last radiation treatment, we'll be at Dr. Weir's office getting Aredia (to lower his calcium levels in the blood and harden his bones) and then we'll meet with him.

Please be praying for our next step. Frank has a lesion on the right side of his face that is pressing on a facial nerve. At first was only making his mouth numb, but is has progressed over the weekend. His speech is slurred quite a bit and he's only comfortable eating soft food for fear of choking. We will talk to Dr. Weir about having that spot radiated. Like the lesion above his eye, we are very hopeful that the symptoms its causing now that seem so scary will go away quickly and he'll have full recovery from those effects.

As for the rest of the family, everyone has been busy. Chandler went to UT - Knoxville for the weekend and had a wonderful time. That campus visit put UT at the top of her choices for colleges. She's working hard to finish school and is looking forward to the prom in a few weeks.

Zach's having to rest from soccer this week for inflammation under his growth plate, around the knee area. I have no idea what that means, but we were all excited to hear that he's not done growing! He quit listening to the doctor after he said that .... either way, we are hoping for him to have a quick recovery.

Chase has a cold and is running fever. Please pray he can get over this FAST and keep his germs away from Daddy and the rest of us.

We are so thankful for your prayers, the meals, the help, calles, notes, etc. We are so so blessed to not walk this journey alone.

peg

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Good morning,

Frank didn't' need any blood transfusions on the 6th, but when we saw Dr. Weir on Wednesday, his platelets were 9, and Hct down to 27. So, Thursday morning, we went in for a bag of platelets.

Frank stays busy during the day working at the computer and "taking care of business" with breaks to nap, or change to a position that brings relief. As always, he's up before me and continues the be the hard worker he's always been - always finding ways to be productive. It's a quality of his I fell in love with a long long time ago!

Friday, April 10th was Chandler's 17th birthday! She's pretty excited... as any teenager would be. She has other close friends that share an April birthday, and they spent the time together doing what teen girls do.... talking and giggling (and don't forget texting) all night!

We were so happy that Frances came to spend Easter weekend with us. We loved having her and hope she enjoyed some much needed rest and change of pace for a few days. We made it to church and enjoyed a wonderful dinner over at mom's with the family.

Monday's labs at Baptist were not surprising to us. He needed 3 bags of blood: 2 units of red cells and a bag of platelets. His Hct was 25 and Platelets 2. That takes up most of the day and we were glad to get home and rest.

Dr. Weir changed his steroid schedule last week to try and help with side effects he was experiencing, but one of the trade offs is that he's more sore in the evening. We've since found out that this trade off was much bigger than we anticipated. His discomfort in the evening and middle of the night has become pretty intense. I know the pain I feel watching him suffer and can't imagine how it feels for him to be one dealing with it all. My heart is committed to help him be as pain free as possible.

Please pray that a solution will be found in order for Frank to be comfortable! Whether this means changing the drug schedule again, or increasing/adding more pain meds, or trying radiation to some of these painful areas... we are praying for relief, and for a clear direction in this area.

Romans 8:18-20, 24-27

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed....
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.


We love you all so much are so very grateful for each one of you! We thank the Lord for YOU!
Peg and Frank

Monday, April 6, 2009

BUT GOD

Frank and I have been saying everyday that we need to update the website, and have gone back and forth about who will do it. We’ve been busy (that’s our story and we’re sticking to it), but behind the excuse, the truth is, sometimes it’s hard to sit down and write what’s going on.

The last entry talked about Frank getting set up for radiation. After seeing Dr. Weir the next Wednesday, the plan changed a bit. Frank is not going to get radiation right now. His pain has increased with respect to intensity, and there are also a few new areas of concern. But I am so happy that the medicine is still giving him the relief he needs. With a tweak here and there, he’s comfortable most of the time. Frank wants to remain out of the hospital setting as much as possible and there was a chance our insurance was going to make us go to Little Rock for further radiation (long story) so he decided to hold off for now. It’s been a week and he says he’s really happy with that decision.


His blood counts were really low again Wed. With a platelet count of 3, the doctor is concerned that Frank may not be making platelets anymore. We’re now set up with a standing order on Mon/Thurs for labs and transfusions if needed… which is where we are now.


So many times, I am asked, “How are you doing?” I answer with the specifics… details like I’ve typed today. But sometimes, with a gentle touch, or a change of voice inflection, I get, “Yes, but how are you doing?” Humm, I don’t know exactly. I wish I could hold myself and the family up to a chart and check it out – like when you check the chemicals in the pool. That would nice wouldn’t it? Oh… I see that I’m a little low on peace today, and my fear is high. It’s seems silly, I know.


“I love the Lord, because He listens to my prayers for help, He paid attention to me, so I will call to Him for help as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1-2


In respect to this website, it seems to have gotten harder to approach the computer. Frank and I have always done this together – regardless of who’s typing, we read each others entries and it’s a joint effort in the end. That’s still true. But we both admitted that sometimes we secretly wish the other would update.


I think it’s because since the beginning of the year, things have been different. There’s been a different outlook, change of approach, a “new normal” to adjust to. It has been an adjustment, but God……


BUT GOD. Those words have been in on my heart for days now. It doesn’t matter what the day brings, what my fears are, what the prognosis is, or what challenges our “new normal” brings. God is the same today as he was yesterday, and He will provide all we need to face each day – for Frank, for me and he kids, for our loved ones… and for you.


“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Heb 6:19


Well, great news! As I type this entry from the hospital, the nurse just came in to tell us Frank’s counts were high enough to not need a transfusion today! Platelets 26 and Hct 29. This means he made some platelets on his own. Praise the Lord! What a great start to the week.


This picture is from the Chris Tomlin concert last Tuesday at the Fed Ex Forum. Thank you Darrin, for making it happen. We had such a great time. Chris Tomlin has great music, so worshipful, and it was a good show.

We say it all the time, but it’s never enough from our vantage point: THANK YOU for your prayers, generosity, friendship, love and concern for our family. Every day we realize how very blessed we are. Peg and Frank

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Well..... what do you do when you team is down by almost 20 points?
You remember to update your website!
We love cheering for Memphis Basketball, but tonight, yelling "MSU" to a deaf screen is...well... sort of - familiar! :) Maybe things will be different by the time I'm done.

Tomorrow is a busy day. Frank is getting his blood drawn at Bapt. Outpatient in the morning. If he's low, he'll get what he needs and tidy him up for the weekend. In the waiting time, he's going to next door, literally, and get everything set up to begin radiation to 2 spots that the doctor wants to "protect". The 2 areas are the shoulder and upper back. Shrinking the myeloma lesions now will prevent possible fractures in these areas later. The radiation seems to be giving Frank the fastest relief with the fewest side effects. We are thankful to have this option and be able to close to home for the treatment.

Chandler is having her wisdom teeth out in the morning. She's suppose to be playing the piano in front of judges at Festival on Saturday morning. Please pray for her too as she tries to do her best under less than ideal circumstances.

This week has flown by. It's been busy, and filled with emotional highs and lows. It never ceases to amaze me how God is there to meet every need, in every way. It's not just in the 'big' ways, and not just in the Joys, but also in those little hurts - even the ones you never mention out loud. Oh, how I love Him! And, oh, how He loves you and me!

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

p.s. Memphis is down by 6 now..... I can hear Frank yelling from downstairs! :) I hope we can do it!
Go Tigers!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I can't believe it's Wednesday already!

We made it through the weekend, but not without concern for Frank's blood counts. He was bruising everywhere, and I was quite anxious to get him to the hospital Monday morning.

Our suspicions were right, and his counts low. Hct 21, Hgb 7, Platelets 3. (yes, 3). He was almost 4 quarts low! We spent all day getting blood: he got 2 units of red cells, and a bag of platelets.

It was different day for us though. Usually, Frank is asleep the whole time because of the pre-meds they give him, and I am awake catching up on my Bible study or reading, etc. But instead, Frank stayed awake all day and made phone calls about our insurance bills. He had papers stacks all over the room and was a busy as a bee. I have a cold and slept ALL day long. The kind of sleep that embarrasses you because you've drooled everywhere! Either way, we both were happy when we left there. He felt accomplished and I needed the rest. As we walked to the car, he grinned and said, "Now I know how a vampire feels... I'm full!"

Tuesday was another unusual day for Frank. He spent all day at the office. He had things he wanted to do and it was great to see everyone too. He was tired and sore after such a long day, but it was worth it in every way. The kids and I did school and tried to get back to a routine after spring break.

Today, we're headed up to Dr. Weir's office. Frank will get a medicine today that hardens his bones. Then we'll get blood work and see Dr. Weir.

We are so happy to see things turning green and warmer weather! I hope you are too.

Thank you for your constant prayers and support for our family. We love you and thank God for you!

Peg

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Thank you so much for the sweet notes, calls and prayers for our family these past few weeks.For any of you that knew Big Frank, you know how very much we miss him.

We returned home from Greenville late late Thursday night. Friday we tried to switch gears and prepare to leave on our trip to Colorado with the church. The kids left on the buses with the youth group on Saturday afternoon, but our caravan left early Saturday morning. The buses drive straight through, but I am not up for that! We stayed over in Kansas and it broke the trip up for us.
The week was wonderful, weather beautiful and fellowship even better. It was fun being able to ski with kids during the day, but I missed Frank's company on the mountain very much. Coming home for a quiet night in the cabin by the fire was most comforting. He found his own fun during the day and has some wonderful pictures to show for his outings. He and my mom found a beautiful babbling brook and took video of the sound, but they are most proud of the mile high meringue on a piece of pie in a local diner. If you know Frank well, you know he travels on his stomach. He'll gauge any trip on how good the food was.... he said he had a great time!


Frank only had one evening where he felt bad, but thankfully the next day was much better. His fever broke, never came back and we made it home so so happy that the trip was a success. It was a huge goal for us as a family. Thank you Jesus for Your watch care over us!

On the way home we stopped off in Little Rock and hugged the nurses and staff at UAMS. It was wonderful to see them. Just walking the halls reminds of how much God has done! Blessings after blessings. Even though we are home now, our hearts are full of gratitude and will forever be with the staff that had cared so tenderly for Frank these past 6 years. We took pictures and laughed with them before getting back on the road and it made a great end to our adventure.

Monday will be a challenging day at our house. The kids have missed 2 weeks of school. We'll be trying to regroup and finish the year strong! Monday, Frank will have labs drawn and to see how he's doing with Dr. Weir. Frank has a new little bump that is on his skull. It popped up over night, literally. He says he's growing a horn. :) I'm sure we'll have some things to discuss with Dr. Weir. Thank you for your prayers in advance concerning his next course of treatment.

I like this picture of Frank and I, esp because it was taken on my birthday. I skied with the kids in the morning and had lunch with Frank in town in the afternoon. (He asked me on a date... yahoo!) Frances and I share our birthday together and we had fun talking to her too. She had a fun filled day with her sister in Greenville, but we look forward to seeing her so we can blow candles out together.

Ps 107:1 "Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His mercy endures forever."

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Thank you so much for the calls and emails of support of our family during this time.

Frank and Frances with Chandler, Zach and Chase ~ Jan 2009

FRANK ANDERSON CARLTON, JR. 74, United States Army, Colonel (Retired) Greenville, Mississippi. Funeral services will be at 11:00 a.m., Thursday, March 12, 2009 at First Baptist Church. He was called home to be with His Lord and Savior on Sunday, March 8, 2009 in Greenville following a sudden cardiac death. Burial will be in Greenville Cemetery under the direction of Boone-Wells Funeral Home, Greenville. Born, February 12, 1935, in Hollywood, California to Hazel and Frank Anderson Carlton.

Frank was a man who lived many lives well, all at once. His life was punctuated by a love for his family, a love for his community and country, and a love of God, which he shared with others in unique ways. Frank graduated valedictorian of his senior high school class from Jefferson Military College located in Washington, Mississippi. During this same time, he lived with his aunt, the Honorable Zelma Price, while working as a teenager for the Mississippi Legislature in the Post Office during its sessions. This is where he first developed a love for the law, the legislative process, and public service. Frank went on to attend the University of Southern Mississippi on a Golden Gloves boxing scholarship. He was proud of his Golden Gloves record. He was a member of the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity, where he served as President, 1956. He was active in student government at USM, serving as President of USM Student Body from 1956 1957 and he was selected as the 1957 Outstanding Male Graduate for USM. Frank graduated with a B.A. in History. He was commissioned through ROTC.

Frank reported for active military service at Fort Benning, Georgia for Basic Infantry Officer’s Course. Frank entered law school at the University of Mississippi in 1957 and achieved notoriety by serving as the emcee of the “Murder Bowl” football game between the Pharmacy School and Law School. He dropped out one semester to make his first run for the Mississippi House of Representatives, an unsuccessful political campaign, but it was during this time that he met his future wife, Frances Caillouet. Frank later served as President of the Senior Law Class and graduated in December 1960. He returned at that time to Greenville where he opened his private law office. During his legal career, he was a member of the Washington County Bar Association, Mississippi Bar Association, the Mississippi Trial Lawyers Association, and the American Bar Association. Frank and Frances were married on his birthday, February 12, 1961, in Greenville, Mississippi.

In 1963, Frank successfully ran again for the Mississippi House of Representatives and served from 1963 1972. He was a leader on education issues helping to pass legislation critical to the funding for the Mississippi Public Broadcast System. He was noted by all for his humor and comraderie. Frank began his career as a prosecutor in 1971 until 1975 as an Assistant District Attorney in Washington County before returning briefly to the private practice of law. In 1979, he ran for the post of District Attorney for the Fourth Circuit Court District, which he won and held until his retirement in 2004.

He was an active member of the Mississippi Prosecutor’s Association, serving as President, and mentoring his colleagues. He continued to support the organization beyond retirement. Throughout his legislative and legal career, he had an active military career. He was a Special Forces Green Beret. Most notably, he was a founding member of the original Mississippi Army Guard SF “E” Company in Jackson, Mississippi. He served an extended time as an “A” team leader, eventually rising to be the Commander of “C” Company in Columbus, Mississippi. He was honored by his airborne comrades in the 20th Special Forces Group as the “Best Damn Trooper to Stand in the Door.” He retired from military service as “Colonel Carlton” in 1984.

Frank loved Greenville, Washington County, and the State of Mississippi. He served over 25 years as Chairman of the Board for Washington Warren Issaquena Sharkey Community Action Agency. His service was honored when the Board established the “Frank Carlton Humanitarian” Award. He was a twenty-five year Board Member of the Washington County Opportunities, Inc. (Headstart). He received the Greenville Chamber’s Point of Pride Award. For a time, he operated a newspaper known as “The Delta Gazette” featuring uplifting community interest stories. He organized the “Barbeque, Catfish, and Hot Tamale Cooking Contest” and its companion the Greenville Blue Grass Festival. He was the proprietor of the “Big River Goat Ranch Kick Ass Cooking Team,” which prepared the food for his annual “Christmas in July”, a community celebration for 39 years. One day before he died, he won First Place in the tamale challenge for the Louisiana Hayride Performance Event held in Greenville, Mississippi.

He was a lifelong member of the First Baptist Church where he taught Sunday School. When not spending time spoiling his grandchildren, Frank had many notable hobbies. He loved his family’s homestead, and he was an avid gardener and goat rancher. He passed away while tending to his goats on the land where he was raised, where he raised his children to love the land and where he communed regularly with his Lord and Savior.

He was preceded in death by his father, Frank Anderson Carlton, his mother, Hazel Wells Carlton, and his brother, Walter Carlton. He is survived by his wife, Frances Caillouet Carlton, his children, Scott Carlton (Virginia) of Columbia, Mississippi and their children Rachel, Harrison Read, and Phoebe; Frank Carlton, III (Peggy) of Germantown, Tennessee and their children Chandler, Zachary, and Chase; and Neely Carlton (David Maatallah) of Madison, Mississippi and their children Marissa, Adam, and Joshua, as well as by his aunt Walter Lou McIlwain, cousins Billy Eugene Wells, Zelma McIlwain, Willard McIlwain, III, George Read Carlton, and many other family and friends. Pallbearers are Walter Brown, George Read Carlton, Jim Carraway, Lynwood Easterling, Mike Keller, George T. Kelly, George F. Hollowell, Jr., Charles McKeller, and Dewayne Richardson. Honorary Pallbearers are the Mississippi Bar Association and the Billy Ireland Sunday School Class. The family will receive friends from 6:00-8:00 p.m., Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at First Baptist Church. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to Jefferson Military College Foundation, Post Office Box 11, Washington, Mississippi 39190, 601-442-2901. Boone Wells Funeral Home 662-335-7111

Monday, March 9, 2009

My Daddy

March 9, 2009

A Time for Everything - Sunday, March 8, Greenville, MS;

At approx. 4:30pm, Frank A Carlton Sr., was out on his goat farm doing one of the things that he loved best, looking after his animals. With a feed bucket in hand, Frank was slinging sweet feed & corn so that all the creatures got their share. It was at that time Frank Sr. had a heart attack.

He sat down with his “friends” and in the most gracious way God could of ever made the call, He told Big Frank, “let’s go home.”

Arrangements are for Wednesday visitation from 6-8 at the First Baptist Church - Greenville and another visitation from 10-11 on Thursday; the funeral service is at 11:00am.

In loving memory of my dad,

Frank

Ecclesiastes 3 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Hi everyone,

Just a quick note to let you know the liver scan was normal. They didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Praises!

Dr. Weir took Frank off the Revlimid, and said in about 1% of the time it can cause liver problems. So, we'll see if that works. I already think he's less jaundice. Maybe that's the "lime in the coconut" Frank needs! He's is on an antibiotic and for the past several days hasn't had any fever, so that's good too. Otherwise, all else is well.

We'll see Dr. Weir again on Wednesday.

Don't forget to set your clocks tonight.... much love from all of us....

Friday, March 6, 2009

Good evening from the Carlton house... and since it's after midnight, I have to officially say:

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY CHASE ANDERSON! Chase has been cracking us up, counting down the day. We are so happy to celebrate with him.

Frank went to see the Infectious Disease guy on Tuesday. We liked him and appreciate the approach he's taking with Frank. He did say there was a bacteria in his lung. It's a cousin to the TB bacteria, but it's NOT TB. It can lie dormant and do nothing, so it may -or may not - be the cause of the fevers. He is doing some more blood work, looking at his past scans and having Frank keep a log of his temperatures. We are happy that he doesn't seem too concerned, and that he's not anxious to just run a lot of aggressive tests right off the bat.

Next in line was Dr. Weir on Wednesday. His liver enzymes had gone up some more, and his hematocrit was 22. So, we went today for a liver ultrasound and 2 units of blood. We hadn't been to Bapt. Outpatient in a few weeks and it was good to see the nurses there. Leaving the relationships in Little Rock has been hard, but we are finding our way into new ones here. The nurses here love Frank ~ it's easy to do ~ and the sweet relationships are forming that make days like today easy on ... well, I was going to say Frank, but it makes it easy on both of us really, but esp Frank. Our nurses today were so sweet and asked a lot of questions about Frank and his journey.

Speaking of which... Frank shared last night a bit of his testimony with a church. He told people of all ages, that God is enough, and faithful, and trustworthy ~ no matter what your circumstances. What a sweet time of fellowship and prayer this church has and what a blessing it was to be there with them.

We learned today that one of our close patient friends, Susan went to be with the Lord on Monday. I have thought of little else ever since we found out. We made friends with them about this time last year and kept up through phone calls and emails when we weren't together in Little Rock. Mike and Susan were in our same apt complex and she and Frank were on the same treatment regimen most of the time. Susan was a strong woman of faith and we spoke often of what the Lord was doing in our lives. I am so thankful this earth is not our home!!

As we enter the weekend, we have many praises:
*that Frank's fevers have not been over 102
*for the flexible schedules we have with the kids
*for the wonderful support system all around us

Please join us in prayer:
*for wisdom as doctors look for cause of elevated liver enzymes
*for stable blood work
*for good results from the radiation (the ones on his head are GONE)
*for the Nanney's as they continue to battle Lyme disease

Ephesians 3:16-19
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Friday, February 27, 2009

A lot sure can go on in a week.... the Carlton Gang’s week has been another busy one.

The cool thing is that it's mostly good stuff. Our lives have been blessed, eventful, and busy. One can never say it's never dull around here.

As we described from last weekend, we held the funeral for my mom’s Aunt Alice Ruth George. As funerals go, it was truly a celebration of her life and what a wonderful giving spirit she exemplified while alive. Her life in heaven will be a joyous reunion of her and her family and that is a beautiful thing. After the funeral, with family in tow, we all had a good time catching up.

For those who prayed for Chandler and her getting over the flu, she did get better and she was able to make her trip with Lauren to Cincinnati. They had fun and enjoyed visiting the Univ. of Cincinnati campus and Lauren's grandparents.

As for me, I am still struggling with these “yo-yo” mystery fevers. Some nights I’m all clear, other nights I run 101.7 fevers and sweat up a storm. I also got some strange results from my labs and blood work on Wednesday.
Dr. Weir is calling in an Infectious Disease specialist and we are going to see him soon. I guess this means they're going to “put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning”. Infectious Disease Doctor, sounds serious. We will let everyone know as soon as we know something.

Here’s some more good news. The egg shaped Myeloma knots that were on top of my head have pretty much gone away. Even the ladies in the radiation department have been impressed by that recovery. My shoulder is better, not fully recovered, but better. And with 3 radiation treatments down I already feel my hips getting loser. Praise God for this! By getting a little bit of relief, it makes me feel more like the person I am on the outside as much as I feel like ole Frank on the inside.

Bill has recuperated to a point where the doctors we able to proceed with his cardioversion to fix the heart arrhythmia. It was this morning, and it worked, first attempt. Yee Ha! God is so good!

Finally, because of my broken tooth incident, I got a new opportunity to share my testimony this coming Wednesday at another church. I am so excited by this, because one of my goals all along has been to try and find ways to honor God with all these “struggles”.

The HOPE that I have in Christ can and is meant to be offered to others that may be facing tough times. God wants us to lean on Him for understanding, He wants us to trust in His promises, and He wants us to cast our worries on Him.

I (we) have had to do this in so many ways and I consider it a privilege to tell others how faithful He has been to me.

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.”

Frank

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

We hope your week has been good so far. Ours has been eventful and busy. It's never dull around here, you know.

With Monday being a holiday, the kids enjoyed getting out of the house and being with friends. We've also enjoyed spending time at the Athletic club attempting to be more healthy. They have PE this semester and the membership has come in handy.

Frank has been having what we call "yo-yo" days. He'll have a fever for an hour, chills, sweat, and then... not. Since he's pulsing the steroid, the days he comes off, are usually not as good as the days he's on the drug. He takes Dex every other day, hence the "yo-yo". His patch and pain pills still give him good pain relief as long as we stay on top of the timing like we should.

Monday night, Chandler started feeling bad and by Tues morning, she was running over 100 fever. I took her in to see our doctor. While we were there she ran 103 and after a few tests, they said she had the flu. I am so sorry she is sick, but am really mad at myself. I tried to get the kids their flu shots in Little Rock and couldn't get them. The place I went wouldn't give them to minors. After we got home, we were all so caught up with things I didn't take them. They didn't want them and argued they never get the flu. Mother guilt... nothing like it! She has stayed in her room most of the time, away from everyone, esp Frank and is feeling a little better all the time.

Frank did wake this morning with 101.6 fever and "gooky" eyes. When we called the doctor, he wanted a chest xray before we saw him today - just in case. We got in and out of Baptist pretty fast and as always had a good visit with Dr. Weir. He said he thinks the fever Frank's having is disease related. He called it tumor fever. The chest xray didn't show anything infection related, but did show a rib fracture. Frank could've told you that. It hurts.

We discussed radiation options vs some chemo vs doing what he's doing. Frank is going to stay on the Dex and Revlimid for the next few weeks and see Dr. Lee for radiation to a few spots that bother him the most. We meet with Dr. Lee, the radiologist this week.

Overall, Frank and I have talked about how pleased he's been with the mobility and freedom he's had to do some fun things he's wanted to do. Things that being in Little Rock wouldn't have allowed him to do. No one knows Frank's heart as well as he does, but from my view into his heart, he seems to still be at peace with the decision he has made. For me and the kids, that means a lot to us.

Chase has enjoyed his substitute teacher in my frequent absences. My niece, Lauren, came home from graduating college, awaiting her law school admission letter to help out where needed. We have been in need and Chase isn't upset at all about her taking my place. He hugs me real tight in the morning and say.... "Is Lauren coming over?". Who would blame him?? Not me. We are so grateful for the help and fresh perspective she brings to the table for Chase. Julie, my other niece, has been Chandler and Zach's Spanish since last Aug. She's been coming over once a week to grade work and have lab with them. Chase feels special now!

This weekend we will see a lot of Frank's family here in Memphis. Frances' aunt passed away this week and we will celebrate her life this weekend. Aunt Alice Ruth loved much and was loved my many and we will miss her.

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. We are praying for:
*quick healing from the flu without anyone else getting it
*wisdom for doctors as they make radiation decisions
*God's grace over Alice Ruth's family as they grieve their loved one

We are praising God for all the blessings and answered prayer He has so graciously given us.

Heb 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.