Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Whose the student?

It's early early morning at the Carlton house and all is quiet. Not a creature is stirring.... not even the pets.

I would love for you to think I'm disciplined enough to be up this early every morning, but for those of you who know me well, you're probably guessing that I just haven't gone to bed yet, instead of assuming I am up early.

Well, today, I am just up early. I took Mom to the airport ~ she had to be there by 4:45. And it's the first day of school for the kids.

I knew this day would come. I am going to miss them as I go through my day. I must say, it's been comforting to have them near. But, how can I be sad? It was in the master plan. Actually, I am not sad.... because it was the Master's plan.

I am so thankful today and humbled by our wonderful God. I think it's easier to read God's word and find our shortcomings. It's easier to speak of our inadequacies than "brag" on the victories. Don't misunderstand, I use that word very loosely, of course, knowing the victories weren't won in our own strength.

But this morning, I realized that I've seen God's will for our family come full circle. After Frank's first relapse, God put it in our hearts that we would home school if he ever relapsed again, so we could maximize our family time together and make being in Little Rock easier.

When the unthinkable happened, we had a peace about moving forward with this plan. God worked out every detail and we had so much to be thankful for. ECS was gracious and helpful in every way. Having their support was so important to us. With God's help, the year together accomplished just what we hoped it would.

So, it's only by God's grace that they will return to school today. They are so excited about going back. Today starts a new beginning for them, yet, it gives them some closer to the past as well. Not that they've moved on by any means. They're still grieving. Chandler was at the computer last night, looked up and saw Frank's picture on the bulletin board and just broke down. Every step without him is still painful. But God is faithful. They are healing.

Oh, how I wish every story in my Christian faith was this victorious: I heard God's voice, I did as He said, and all is well. Life is good. But of course, it is not. Not even close.

So, whose the student anyway? The kids are coming home with a backpack full of books today. Yet, I am the one still in school. Favorite subject: HIStory

"Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor 15:57

I forgot take our tradional back to school photo as I waved goodbye to them in the driveway, so I snapped them right as they were walking in the door from school. They had a great day.