Good morning,

Frank and I are both ready to see Dr. Barlogie today and "get the news over with" one way or the other. Waiting isn't a stress release. Frank is not as anxious today as he says he was yesterday. In his words over breakfast he says he's expecting the worst, so anything else will be good news to him. I don't feel the same way. I am not convinced. I'm holding out that things haven't progressed and he'll move forward with the next Mel-VTD-PACE chemo he was originally scheduled for. I like it when we're NOT on the same wave link. It allows one to be strong for the other ~ whoever needs it at the time. And with Frank's competitive nature, it's something for us to bet on. Whose right, and what is the prize? :)

I do feel better after having breakfast. It was a "living devotion" for me. As we walk into the lobby to eat, the first thing I noticed is how crowded it was, unlike yesterday. Crowded with families and small children. Then, I started noticing that several had special needs children. One in a wheelchair, one with Downs. Then I saw a Granddaddy with a Special Olympics t-shirt on. Common sense has kicked in at this point, only because I had already had coffee in the room.

As we sat at our table discussing our own trials, all I could think of was how awesome our heavenly Father is. We are so frail in our humanity. So needy. So broken. How can any of us make it through without His grace and strength?? Each table represented to me how each of us have our own trials and burdens we carry. I saw the family with the Downs toddler fold their hands as the little boy said the prayer. You couldn't understand him... but God could. Are we not the same way? Sometimes I just mumble my scared and anxious heart to the Lord. I can't always make sense of it all..... but God can.

I realize as we wait to see the doctor, that we have close friends also battling cancer. Their child is fighting cancer, or Lyme disease. But even if we don't have a disease we can name, we have insecurities, broken relationships.. all sorts of things that bring us to our knees with our Savior, our Healer... our Comforter. And His grace is sufficient for ALL our needs. That's what we're holding onto as we wait to see Dr Barlogie................

Heb. 4: 14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

4:15 pm

We just saw Dr. Barlogie. Frank was right. Numb is the only word that comes to mind right now. Frank is quiet. He said he's played this moment over many times in the past week. Dr. Barlogie wants to run more tests on Monday morning. Frank will have another scan of the head to find out more to explain the numbness in the face. There are many new lesions in the hip, spine and ribs. He wants a bone marrow too. He doesn't know what to do yet, but said to come back prepared for 3 weeks at least.

So, we are on our way to Memphis.

Much love for each one of you. peg