I have missed this.

Every day, the natural thought process goes through my mind.... "I need to update the website." That's been a constant for over 6 years. It's a habit. Now, it's one of the things that makes my eyes get wet. "What about the website...."

But I've missed this. I've missed my connection with you. So, hear I am. Here we are.

19 days. We miss him. I'm getting questions like "How am you doing?" "What are you doing?"

I've been trying to work on thank you notes. A little a night keeps me busy. We've worked in the yard. Frank had already purchased some plants he wanted for this summer, so I planted those a few days ago.

Last Thursday was a full day, and one of the hardest so far. I went to his office. Took care of business, and cleaned out the rest of his personal things from his desk. By the time I got home, the call came that the death certificate was in. So, Chase and I went to get them. We went to the cemetery. The flowers were gone and the sod laid. We had a sweet time together. We came home just in time for our first official meal at the table - set for 4. And right after dinner, one of the boys (I can't say who or I'll get in trouble) broke their window with a ball. A first for our family believe it our not! I had no idea what to do. And then.. the dreaded bedtime.

Psalm 6:6 "My groaning has worn me out. At night my bed and pillow are soaked with tears."

I don't think I'll have another day like that for a while. It's sad. But the truth is.... that just the way it is right now. And I know it's normal. I told the kids I feel like I'm quoting a Dr. Sues book when we talk about grief: We can't go under it, can't go over it, can't go around it. We have to go through it.

We're handling the grief like we handled the fight. Head on. We cry when we feel like crying, and we laugh when we feel like laughing. We talk about Frank whenever we want to. And we're doing normal things and getting out a little, too. We're respecting each others right to grieve differently. I am very very proud of the how the kids are handling themselves so far. They have been so sweet to me, and to each other. A mommy couldn't ask for more.

A thought came to my mind the other day. Beautiful Feats Ministries. It was listed in the paper, it was mentioned at the service. But Frank hadn't mentioned it here. And for those who don't live in Memphis, you may not know what it is.

Frank had a dream several years back to start a ministry to be the "hands and feet" of Christ by supporting the needs of families affected by devastating circumstances beyond their control.

This was something Frank worked very hard to accomplish. And with the help of his Board of Directors, he was able to see this dream become a reality. He wanted the website to be fully working before he put it here for you to see. Frank's last board meeting was on April 26th.

I am very proud to be able to link you here to Beautiful Feats Ministries!

http://beautifulfeats.com/

Even though we are walking in a "fog" of grief right now (that's what my book calls it), there are many tender moments we have during the day. The pain of loss is bitter sweet, because with each remembrance of him, we are reminded of how much we love him ~ how much he loved us!

He is everywhere in this house, and in every thing I do! And yet I know that's a blessing. We shared much, and much is lost. We are so blessed! My belief in that has not been shaken. Thank you Jesus!

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The cards and notes we are getting are so comforting. It's a joy to read how Frank touched your life as well. Thank you! And thank you for your continued prayers for our family. Not just the kids and I, but for his family and mine.

Still in His grace, Peggy

It's one week since our Frank went to be with the Lord. Even though we thought were as prepared as anyone could be, it doesn't ease the pain of missing him. It just hurts.

BUT GOD..... He is our comfort, and source of strength and peace. The body of Christ has been such such a blessing to our family, uplifting us through this time.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep". Romans 12:15

The outpouring of love was amazing!!! It gave me such comfort for the weekend. It will forever impact the children as well, as they saw the line at visitation and the church full for his service. The kids knew their Daddy as... well... Daddy. Seeing how many people came to pay respect to him as they knew him through business, church, bible study, college, elementary school, etc broadened their perspective how many lives he has touched.

As we reflect on the weekend, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

We do have a favor to ask.....

We have been told by so many people, that the guest book was too hard to get to in the lobby on Sunday, and as a result, we are missing hundreds of names of people that came to the service.

Because we not able to see everyone it would mean so much to us to know who was there.

If you were there and couldn't get to the book, please let us know, either by telling us here, or emailing me (so I can have your address), and we'll record it for you. It would make me sad to miss sending an acknowledgement. I have heard, only from others, of people that came. It touched our hearts, and we would have never known. Thank you so much for helping us with important detail.

Frank's posts were always so great! I used to linger as long as I could before posting after him. I hated "pushing" his down the page of the website. Remember the one about his taking a bath? (Oct 2008) It was powerful.

I feel the same way today, knowing this post would take his picture off the front screen....

so I'm keeping it! I could just stare at it all day.

The "family bed" has been so good for us. I haven't slept alone yet. Your prayers are needed, and so very appreciated for our family during this time. Thank you!!

Peggy, Chandler, Zach, and Chase

Our beloved husband and father.....

FRANK ANDERSON CARLTON, III, 44, of Germantown, TN, went to be with his Lord and Savior on April 29, 2009 at his home, after a courageous battle with Multiple Myeloma. A celebration of his life will begin with visitation on Saturday, May 2, from 3-5 p.m., with a service Sunday, May 3, 2009, at 2 p.m. Both will be held in the South Hall at Hope Presbyterian Church, 8500 Walnut Grove in Cordova.

Frank was born in Greenville, MS on September 11, 1964. His childhood hobbies included swimming, hunting, and gardening. He was also involved in Boy Scouts of America, where he earned the highest rank of Eagle Scout.

Frank graduated from Greenville High School in 1982 where he was twice voted Class Favorite. He furthered his education at Mississippi Delta Community College, and then Mississippi State University, graduating in 1987, with a Bachelor of Science in Agriculture. During his years at Miss. State, he enjoyed fraternity life, serving as president of Phi Kappa Tau. Frank also worked at the Bulldog Deli, where he met his future wife, Peggy Brody, whom he married in November 1989.

That same year, Frank began working at Elliott Data Systems. He found his niche in sales and earned many awards for outstanding achievement. His 20 year association with Elliott brought Frank great joy, and he considered it an honor to work alongside colleagues, whom he also called friends.

Frank’s love for the Lord was evident in every area of his life, always eager to share the Good News. Frank worshiped at Hope Presbyterian Church where he has served as a deacon, taught in children’s ministry, and was active in his small group. Frank was a member of Bible Study Fellowship for 13 years, where he also served several years in leadership.

Frank loved people, and had a unique gift for making each person he met smile. His positive attitude was an inspiration to all who knew him. After being diagnosed with cancer in 2002, Frank’s passion became sharing God’s faithfulness. It is from this passion that he founded Beautiful Feats Ministries which seeks out unique ways of bringing Glory to God. He also enjoyed cooking, gardening, and spending time with his precious family.

Frank is preceded in death by his father, Frank Anderson Carlton, Jr. He is survived by his wife, Peggy and their three children, Chandler, Zachary, and Chase, mother, Frances Carlton of Greenville; brother, Scott Carlton (Virginia) of Jackson, MS and their children; Rachel, Read, and Phoebe, sister, Neely Carlton (Dave Maatallah) of Jackson, MS and their children; Marissa, Adam and Joshua; father and mother-in-law, Bill and Sandy Brody of Germantown, TN; sister-in-law, Lisa Amann (Jim) and their children; Julie, Lauren, Jimmy and Alexis of Eads, TN; and many other loved ones.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be given to Beautiful Feats Ministry, 5100 Wheelis Drive, Suite 215, Memphis, TN 38117, 901.867.8635; Hope Presbyterian Church, 8500 Walnut Grove, Memphis, TN 38018, 901.755.7721; or the Myeloma Institute for Research and Therapy, UAMS, 4301 West Markham St, Mail #816, Little Rock, AR, 72205