Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Good morning... and a good morning it is! IT'S SNOWING !! Big fat flakes!

Memphis seems to get passed by every time there is of snow so we are thrilled and so excited to see the beauty of it ~ no matter how long it lasts. The kids and I are going to watch the inauguration of our new president today as part of their school day. At least they'll have a pretty view if "watching an historic moment" gets boring..... maybe I should make them take notes.....

Frank's moving around a little more independently over the past few days. He's relying on the walker a little less, willing to venture away from it for short distances around the kitchen or bedroom. We are thankful the radiation has given him some relief. Sitting up can still be painful so he rests on the couch or in the recliner most of the time.

He started running fever over the weekend. Mostly in the 99's but got up to over 100 Sunday. He also has some head and chest congestion. We've been in daily contact with Dr. Weir, even over the weekend, who is watching him closely. Please pray with us that this clears up quickly.

Friday we went to Baptist Outpatient services for platelets (they were 12). We went back yesterday for labs, expecting to need more platelets. But we were shocked, as well as the staff, when they told us his count was 30. Yeah! What a blessing!

His white count was under 2, which makes him more susceptible to infection and the other values are a little low, but not too low.

Frank mentioned being irritable in his last entry. There are times that sitting at this computer is challenging. Being honest about what we're going through isn't always easy, but it's not something we've ever regretted either.

As we talk with friends, we've realized that many are wondering how they can be praying for us, wondering how we're dealing with where we are. This is tough indeed. And I'm at a loss for how to explain what's going on inside our hearts. Actually, I couldn't truly answer that for anyone else other than myself.

But overall, I think we are doing OK under the circumstances. We are dealing with this and not ignoring it. We're talking about it, showing emotions, and adjusting to the our new normal pretty well. How can one judge how well we're doing this? I thank heaven that we don't have a lot of heavy experiences with grief, but it gives me no guidelines? I do know one thing we'd all agree on. It hurts. As Chandler said the other day, we're looking for the blessings in each day. And they are there! We're in our own home for treatment, we see Frank more during the day, the kids are home and have a flexible schedule, there's more support around us. The list goes on and on.

The kids have been sleeping in our room a lot. It started b/c Chandler was having bad dreams. Then, they started taking turns with who got to sleep in our bed. "Calling it" wasn't working out, so now they all sleep in the floor together. I exchanged our coverlet and put a comfy duvet on the bed so Frank could lie down whenever he wanted without having to turn down the bed. Another nice result of that has been more family bed gatherings and a lot more snuggling. Another blessing.

We cry. We laugh. We get frustrated. We get angry. We feel guilty. We apologize. We make up! You know ~ normal! We've all had to learn to balance trying to help Frank. I think it's hard for him to not be able to do the things he wants and is used to doing. Big things: like getting dressed, grabbing your own shoes out of the closest, driving. Little things: like the change in your daily routine. Being the one to get the paper and feed the dog, take out the trash, etc. Frank might even switch those examples. What I said was a little thing, may actually be the "big" thing. Watching someone else do something you'd rather do yourself isn't easy. And even though he admits to being sharp with us at times, we all understand and I think it bothers him more than us. I'm trying hard to balance letting him do for himself and be as independent as possible and be there when he needs me.

But it's the little things that can "get you" and cause a waterworks moment. And after we have one, we feel better, and we go back to living a normal as possible. And we only do that with the Lord's help.

Romans 8:31-39
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It stopped snowing already. But it's still going to be a GOOD day.

With love from our house to yours,


robin d said...

Thanks for another glimpse into your daily lives and thoughts, so that we can know how to think about you and how to pray...

pat coe said...

Saying morning prayers that despite being in LR, this will be a GOOD day. Love you, Pat C

Anonymous said...

love to you all ... praying for you this morning! peggy- hate that you missed taco night but Shelley, Lisa and i voted we are saving the alfredo and grapes for chicken salad jsut for you! :) we miss your smile in the kitchen!
love, jennifer